18 posts tagged “alw”
Every Friday Sexy Corn Muffin wakes up and says "It's trash day!" as if this is somehow news to me.
Not once since living in Haus der Platten (or before that) have I forgotten when trash day was. It's been the same trash day here for as long as I can remember, going back to when I was a little kid.
I must tell her this every other Friday but she keeps on reminding me.
I make a habit out of not putting out my trash cans until the morning of, not because I'm afraid of someone going through my trash but just because I find it easier to take my cans out in the morning vs. at night when I still might want to put stuff in them and don't want to be bothered by walking that 10 extra feet to them on the curb.
It's a rough life, I know.
Even if I were to suddenly forget that trash days were on Friday I would be reminded the moment I looked out the bed room window onto the street lined with my neighbors cans.
Yet every Friday SCM reminds me, sometimes multiple times before leaving the house "It's trash day."
Sometimes, if I'm extra lucky she calls me from down the street to let me know the trash truck is near.
In the end, somehow, I'm the one who's in the wrong for insisting that I 1) know it's trash day and 2) know that truck is down the street as it makes so much noise I can hear it a quarter mile away.
From now on when I refer to my old lady (previously "The Wife") I will call her by the following name:
Sexy Corn Muffin, or SexyCornMuffin, or My Sexy Corn Muffin, or The Sexy Corn Muffin, or something along those lines.
She's on Vox but doesn't post, yet. You can see her at http://sexycornmuffin.vox.com/, add her to your hood if you want, it'll confuse her.
So, how did this Sexy Corn Muffin business come about?
Many years ago she and her sister were commenting on the ridiculousness of what passes for Halloween costumes for women these days. It's always a sexed up version of something and my SCM said "What's next, a Sexy Corn Muffin?"
And that is how the legend of the Sexy Corn Muffin was started.
Alright, where to begin? Well the beginning is probably a good place.
I think I've said it before but I'll explain it again, just for the sake of getting folks caught up.
Years ago Annie and I used to go to the gym with my sister. One day we didn't want to go and after some bargaining my sister agreed to stop bugging us if we could have a party on Cinco de Mayo (which was in a few days time) with a pinata.
Being cheap and lazy we didn't go and buy a pinata, instead I brought a paper box home from work, filled it with candy, taped it up and beat the day lights out of it with a stick.
And that is how CDBB got started.
This year we postponed Cinco until the 6th because of some scheduling issues with guests who we deemed "must attend", which kind of worked in our favor as far as getting the house ready for people.
If I go on with boring details that bore you, sorry. I kind of don't have a filter and at this point in the day I'm not even worried about trying to apply one. Take what you will.
TMD & RRX were the first to arrive, followed by LaFo and her bf Mike (friends of Annie's from work).
Before too long RRX & Mike were playing tennis and bowling on the Wii, trying to best eachother and beat my Pro rating.
Soon Steve showed up; Annie came from the hallway and saw him standing at the door.
"Hi. How are you? Who are you?"
"That's Steve Betz" I said to TMD who was standing right next to me.
So I met Steve Betz, it's was pretty cool.
He looked just like his user picture.
Before he was even in the door KAGA (henceforth Krispy) and her husband Nick showed up.
Annie and I took the Krispy, Nick, LaFo & Steve on a tour of the backyard.
After that it seemed like all the boys and girls separated.
All the girls sat around the dinner table, margaritas and mojitos in hand talking about something and all the boys were out in the back yard. I have no idea what transpired there.
At one point RRX (a science nerd of sorts) was in the house and I said to him, "Hey, Steve is a chemist or a scientist of some sort" and off he went.
All the boys came back in and RRX and Steve played some Wii while Mike & Nick played Ping Pong.
All the girls continued to gossip.
I was called away to help my mother (who was staying with me for the weekend and acted as our chef. Thanks, mom) with some cooking.
At some point a car pulled up and while I couldn't really see who was in it I saw a man with a beard and a woman with darkish hair. I assumed it was .Erin. and her husband Marc. I had read on her blog that she was coming down so I sent her a direct Twitter saying "Come In". Just a few seconds later the door opened and a woman I didn't recognize got out. I thought to my self .Erin. looks different in just about every picture I see of her so this could be her.
Turns out it wasn't. It was my friend Eric and his new girlfriend. I had forgotten he had a beard.
Embarrassed I sent another direct Twitter to .Erin. apologizing for my blunder.
At some point my good friend Tim showed up and brought his friend Ray. I'm not sure when they got there, they stayed in the garage playing Ping Pong for a while before anyone noticed.
Shortly dinner was served. Mom made beans and some flap meat I had marinated, Baja Fresh (Mexican Food chain restaurant) made the Rice. It was delicious.
I live in my grandparents house and as such I had many dinners there where one group gathered at the dining room table and the rest of us in the living room (I was never a table sitter) and that is just what happened at Cinco.
I got caught up with Eric and talked to his new gf. Before long Steve came out and we talked a bit. I know he spent some time talking to my mom but about what I don't know.
Soon he had to go pickup The Beloved and we posed for this picture.
It was my first IRL meeting of a person from the net. It was pretty cool. I'm kind of excited about the next Vox meet-up in San Diego (and I'm mega excited that HannaBanana is going to be here in July).
Maybe 30 minutes later or so, after all the food had time to settle there was a call for the Beat Box and beat it we did.
And the prizes!! Oh there were prizes.
Krispy came away with an American Idol microphone that I got in a McDonalds Big Kids Happy Mean
RRX Got the last chicken in house (there were at least 40 ceramic chickens when I moved in) I found it in the medicine cabinet in the guest bathroom recently. I didn't even know that the medicine cabinet opened until recently.
Mike got the Pope On A Rope, which is a re-gift of sorts (sorry Eddy)
After the beating Pumpkin empanadas were brought out and they there were delicious. Oh My God they were sooooo good.
Some how Penny got a hold of one of the crusts for one and walked around with it in her mouth for a while.
Did I miss anything?
Every year twice a year, for the last 6 years The Wife & I have engaged in the same fight over Daylight Savings Time.
It is the biggest argument of our relationship. Nights have been spent on the couch over it. Once The Wife followed me into the bathroom, locked the door and sat in front of it trying to convince me that I'm wrong while our dinner sat and got cold.
This year we haven't argued about it, yet, mostly because I'm tired of arguing about something that I am so obviously right about and nothing will convince her otherwise. Two or three times yesterday she tried to engage me in an argument about it and I just chose to ignore her or told her that we are not having this discussion this year.
I take the stance that it doesn't matter what your clock says there are still 24 hours in a day, not 23 or 25.
She claims that because you change your clock you gain or lose an hour.
(Fish): Daylight savings time is a wholly modern invention barley 100 years old, since the dawn of man and the invention of the sundial, hourglass and clock people have lived without changing their clocks twice a year to adjust for daylight savings time. Until just recently.
ALW: (That's my boo): Society says that you change your clock, if you don't agree with society then why do you not change your clock?
(Fish): For convenience. I am only one man. It would be a pain in the ass for me to try and keep track of what time I needed to do things if I didn't change time with everyone else but that doesn't mean that it isn't wrongheaded and stupid.
ALW: (Counts on her hands the hours of the day, then adds to subtracts an hour and announces keeps adding. Then announces that there are 23 or 25 hours in the day if you just do the math, it's so simple you can do it on your hands.)
(Fish): You cannot change time by simply changing your clock that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Time is decided by the sun and rotation of the earth, not our clocks. If we changed our clocks forwards and backwards because of some cosmic phenomena then fine. But we don't, society dictates that we change our clocks, the government tells us to change our clock.
ALW: (Honestly I forget her argument here. If my recollection serves she makes an argument that society says so and therefore it must be right.)
(Fish): So what if society says that is what we are supposed to do? Society has been wrong plenty of times, slavery, The Holocaust, hell people used to think that the world was flat and that was decided by the smartest people of the time.
ALW: Those things are different. You can't compare those sorts of things, they are totally different.
(Fish): I'm just illustrating that society has been wrong plenty of times in the past and as far as I'm concerned it is wrong now.
ALW:You are stupid. I can't believe how stupid you are. Why can't you just see that when you change your clock you gain or lose an hour.
(Fish): Because you don't. There are now, and always will be, only 24 hours in one day. It does not matter how you change your clock. Using your logic I could start the clock at midnight, wait until 11:59:59 PM then change the clock back six hours have a 30 hour day.
ALW: If that is what society says, then yes, that would be right.
(Fish): That is stupid. Don't you see how stupid that is? There are still only 24 hours in the day. The hours of daylight are dictated by the sun and the rotation of the earth.
Usually at this point it all starts over again and goes until one of us leaves the room in disgust or starts to ignore the other one.
After much debate The Wife & I decided to just go for it. We generated more
than 45 emails back and fourth to each other today about it.
I asked my homie RRX what he thought about the situation and he said this:
if I may get up onto my soap box now...
No longer living there is not a valid excuse for being conservation
conscious. Especially due to the fact that you live in SoCal, water
conservation importance goes well beyond simply a matter of money. Though it
is an inconvenient truth, it is a truth nonetheless that we need to do our
best in all aspects of life to leave as little a footprint as possible -
including our water use. It is nice to save money over time with less water
used, but it is nicer that we are saving simply the water we need for more
important uses elsewhere and later on.
I think he swayed Wifey more than anything.
Yes that is the color we are going for.
(If the formatting on this post is messed up, my apologies, I'm posting via
email cuz worked has blocked Vox for most of the day. I've noticed that
email posting just doesn't work out as well as it should. Note to self:
contact Vox RE: That situation.
Update:
We didn't get these ones after all.
After going to the store and kicking the tires on the floor models a little bit more The Wife decided she didn't want this one (after a night and a day of going back and fourth on the matter)
Instead we opted for a very similar model that has a couple more features but only comes in white.
Show us your favorite framed photos.
This was a gift from RRX & TMD. It is among the best gifts ever and the most awesome thing I've seen in a a long time. It is a mystery as to where they got it. It is printed on photo-paper so it is a picture of something, it's got to be part of something bigger but what I have no idea. I love it. Currently it lives on The Wifes desk at work.
To add to the hilarity of this she is taller than me IRL.
On Sunday night The Wife & I went to a wedding in Pleasanton, about 45 minutes outside of San Fransisco; it's the reason why we took the trip.
As stated in the post when I announced our road trip I was planning on bringing some licorice with me and I did. I've always liked to chew on licorice while I'm driving long distances. Just a habit I picked up, I don't know where or when but I've been doing it for a long time.
When we get to the wedding I'm feeling a bit snacky so as I get out of the car I grab a couple of vines of licorice and put them in my pocket. As we walk to the hall I eat one and nobody in our group says anything about it.
In the hall we are made to wait like 30 minutes or so for the processional to start and I'm still feeling a bit snacky so I just reach into my pocket, bite off a chunk and put the rest back in my pocket. I do this three or four times in 10 minutes and nobody seems to notice or care.
On maybe my fifth bite the woman next to me asks me the time and since I was biting into the licorice I just let it hang in my mouth for a second while I reached for my cell phone to check the time.
LaFo (woman next to me): "Fish! What is that in your mouth?! Annie! Look at Fish."
Annie: "Fish!" grabbing the licorice twist from my mouth, "What is wrong with you?!"
LaFo: "I can't believe what I'm seeing. He's eating licorice at a wedding!"
Annie: "What are you? An 8 year old? You don't eat licorice at a wedding!"
Fish: "I've been eating it since we left the car and nobody said a word. I figured it was cool."
Annie: "What is the matter with you? Do you think this is a movie theater? You don't eat licorice at a wedding."
Fish: "But I was snacky."
Annie: "That's horribly inappropriate. Don't do that anymore."
So then we are at the reception and I'm still a bit snacky. There is pepperoni, cheese and bread but I've had just about enough of that stuff so I reach back into my pocket for my licorice and try to covertly take a bite.
LaFo, who is sitting more or less directly across from me sees me and calls me out.
Seeing as I've been caught I just tear into it in plain sight; everyone at the table has a good laugh about it and a picture is taken. I am again reminded that it's "horribly inappropriate" to bring and eat licorice at a wedding.
Later as Annie and LaFo are signing a card for the bride (yes at the reception, it was a special gift and card for the honeymoon) LaFo writes at the bottom:
"...Fish brought licorice to the wedding. Seriously."
I would totally do it again too.
Except we are at California Adventure so it kind of sucks
Boo Boo's is a locally owned independent record store in San Luis Obispo, where my Old Lady hails from. She forwarded me their latest e-newsletter today, below is an excerpt.
How awesome is that?Occasionally a customer sighs and says "gee, I wish I could spend this big box gift card here, they never seem to have what I really want, and you always do". Well, now you can use those unwanted gift cards from Aunt Betty, Grandma Moses, or whoever thought it was cool to hook you up with generic big box #7214. We will gladly accept gift cards from any major, non-independent store that sells entertainment media in our area. This includes, but is not limited to: Best Buy, Target, Circuit City, Barnes & Noble, Borders, Wal-Mart, and Starbucks. All you need to do is bring in your card and we'll give you the full value on anything in our store.
"The poor words with which natural human speech is provided, cannot suffice to describe the Madonna Inn." - Umberto Eco
It is truly impossible to accurately describe The Madonna Inn that quote I pulled off Wikipedia is the closest thing I've ever read or heard as an accurate description; but more on that later.
I spent this Thanksgiving with The Wife's family this year. I almost spent it with RRX and TMD stuffing ourselves with various cuts of yummy meats at Rei's but in the end The Wife won out.
The Wife is from San Luis Obispo which in the Central Coast of California, it's a small town barley 50,000 people with a college of nearly 20,000 (which could put the actual permanent population down to 30,000 people if you look at it that way) about 300 miles north of San Diego.
The first several times I visited were kind of strange. Coming from a city, albeit not the biggest city but a city nonetheless, where I could walk around in anonymity for days on end without seeing anyone I knew or who knew me and going to a place where you can't walk 1/2 a block without seeing someone you know or grew up with was really putting me on edge and I wasn't even the one running into people.
When I first visited the downtown area I was surprised by how small it was. I'm pretty sure if you took San Diego's Fashion Valley mall (including parking) and dropped it in the downtown area of SLO it would be roughly the same size, maybe a little bigger or smaller.
Pulling of the freeway on the first or second exit in town there is a patch of land where cows roam and graze freely (there are miles of this on CA-101 actually, it's awesome) on the other side there is a patch where a farmer has setup a stand selling his fresh fruit and vegetables. There are a couple places like that inside of and just outside of town. Every Thursday night they close off the streets downtown and have a huge Farmers Market.
Arguably the crown jewel of San Luis is the Madonna Inn. It's, um, pink. And I mean that in every sense of the word. The place is crazy, many of the rooms are uniquely themed (Caveman, Old Mill, Safari) and the restaurant "The Copper Cafe" has a odd, almost comical European style to it. Even the mens rooms are unique in that there are no urinals but a 5 foot wide waterfall that turns on when you step up to it. (Which if you you may not want to use if you are wearing flip-flops.)
Over time (and I'm loathe to say this as I know The Wife will eventually read this and hold it against me; no doubt on a computer where I am logged into Vox so marking it Friends and Family would do no good) I did grow to love the visits. The small town (SLO) way of life really has gotten to me. I find that when I really grow tired of work and just about everything else a long weekend in SLO chillaxin' tends to recharge my batteries 10 times more than spending the same time in Haus der Platten.
I can't recommend a personal visit enough (RRX! (Whoa, I almost felt like ALW for a second there)) If you happen to be driving up the California coast or are looking for a nice weekend getaway place, SLO is tops IMHO. The surrounding communities have gorgeous beaches, hot springs, mountains to climb, trails to hike and bike and a whole host of shops and restaurants.
